Get Thin or Die Tryin

I always believed in the all or nothing tactic. That it's either everything or absolutely nothing. I use this tactic with food. I used to overeat and then starve myself, but now I know better. I eat three meals a day with little food at Breakfast and Lunch, but more food at dinner because I am not 18 yet and my parents control what I eat at dinner. I enjoy controlling what I eat the other two meals because it gives me a sense of power to control my body. I exercise frequently to get rid of unwanted fat from my dinner. I'm enjoying what I'm doing but don't understand where the happiness I'm searching for will come from...